Perfectionism and Relationships
Is Your Perfectionism Showing Up as the Third Wheel in Your Relationship?
I am willing to bet if you are here and reading this you have already deemed yourself a “perfectionist.”
You are aware that your challenges with perfectionism have been around for some time and you have done a google search of “signs you might be a perfectionist.”
Perfectionism can show up in many areas of your life. Have you ever thought about how your perfectionism might be impacting your relationship with your partner?
In this blog, I’m sharing with you common problems in relationships caused by perfectionism.
I am a virtual therapist in Wilmington NC and specialize in therapy for stressed out and anxious high achievers. I work with high-achieving women and provide therapy for perfectionism and overcoming burnout.
I am an online therapist in Maryland and North Carolina. You can virtually attend your therapy appointment from the comfort of your couch.
Ready to get started in treatment for perfectionism with me? Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation on the date and time of your choice.
Keep reading to learn how perfectionism can impact your relationship.
Top 3 Reasons Why Perfectionism Can Ruin a Relationship
Chances are your perfectionism has impacted your life in a few ways and one of those major areas is relationships. Relationships play such an important part in life. However, there are 3 big ways your perfectionism could be ruining your relationships. Check out the top 3 reasons listed below.
Reason #1 Perfectionism Can Ruin a Relationship - Difficulty with vulnerability
At the core, perfectionism avoids vulnerability at all costs and is seen as a threat.
Because of this, it can create difficulty in communication with your partner, problems with intimacy, and defensiveness in the relationship.
Reason #2 Perfectionism Can Ruin a Relationship - High expectations
Perfectionism can have you creating high and unachievable expectations for yourself and others. Don’t get perfectionism confused with being a high-achiever. When the perfectionist sets these high expectations most often they are left unsatisfied and can experience anxiety and depression.
When these expectations are placed on the perfectionist’s partner the results are the same. This can cause increased arguments and strain in the relationship, isolation from each other, difficulty with trust, and unmet needs from each partner.
Reason #3 Perfectionism Can Ruin a Relationship - Being critical
A perfectionist is not only critical of themselves but also their partner. There are a lot of self-doubts that happen and often this comes through with criticism.
When challenges with vulnerability and having high expectations come together criticism is often the result.
This can sometimes be projected onto the non-perfectionist in the relationship.
Fellow therapist Mackenzie Lester, owner of Follow Your Arrow Counseling, says this about perfectionism in relationships, “Do you find yourself nitpicking your partner? Or complaining about others in general? Feeling like you have to do everything yourself or it won't get done and it won't be done….correctly? This is how you know you need to step back, take some deep breaths, and tend to your relationship differently. More attentively. Reconnect with your partner.”
Begin Therapy for Perfectionism in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Your perfectionism can take a toll on your relationship and create some challenges leaving you and your partner strained at times.
Having an awareness and recognizing the impact perfectionism plays in your relationship can help you to take the next step forward and begin perfectionism treatment.
I use acceptance and commitment therapy for perfectionism.
You can find out more information on ACT therapy in Wilmington, NC, and if you think ACT therapy would be a good fit for you.
Get started in therapy at Calm Waters Counseling by following these 4 simple steps:
Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation
Complete the brief questionnaire sent to your email before the consultation
Meet with your ACT therapist
Start living your life being more flexible
Therapy for High Achievers in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
High achievers are hard-working and goal-oriented folks with a lot going on in their life and having a place where they can talk about the challenges and stress that come with being a high achiever.
Take some time and learn more about me and my Wilmington, NC online anxiety counseling practice.
Check out all services at Calm Waters Counseling, listed below:
Anxiety therapy in Wilmington, NC
Treatment for Perfectionism in Maryland
Burnout Counseling in Wilmington, NC
Therapy for Imposter Syndrome in Wilmington, NC
Online Therapy in Maryland
Being an online therapist in North Carolina and Maryland, I have seen the effectiveness of online therapy for my clients.
Online therapy offers a lot of benefits and convenience for treatment.
If you are interested in online Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in North Carolina or Maryland, click the links below to learn more.
online therapy for perfectionism in North Carolina
online perfectionism treatment in Maryland
Still, have questions? Click the buttons below to get more information.
Written by: Laura Rippeon, LCSW, LCSW-C
Updated 3/18/23